Eloquent editorial -

I have been surprised and happy at all the comments from Facebook friends about my last posting (my posts here show up there as notes).

In a rare instance last week, I wrote that post in a moment of real outrage and passion. I usually tend to wait until I'm thoughtful and less emotional to post. Interesting, that.

Below is a link to a smart, well-written, opinion from Frank Rich about the events of the past week. I really liked it, and wanted to share.

For me, I keep thinking that it's good to be a part of history. I keep telling myself to pay attention. As some of you know, I've been fantasizing for some time about moving to Vashon Island. It seems a safe harbor, a quiet green refuge in the midst of turbulent times. And then I read Mr. Rich, and wonder if that's a cop-out somehow - if I should instead stay where I am, in hyper-diverse south Seattle, and dig in for the long haul.

More will be revealed.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/opinion/28rich.html





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disgraceful and shameful behavior - some of you so-called Americans should be ashamed of yourselves.

So. I have tried to avoid it to just enjoy the good news, but I can't ignore anymore after watching the nightly news.

American citizens shouting the n word at our elected representatives, representatives who already lived through one civil rights movement.

Other elected representatives holding up signs egging on their demonstrators, signs saying Kill the Bill.

Rush Limbaugh saying "We have to wipe all of them out."

I know and love some Republicans, they are among my beloved family and some friends. Please, if you are one, denounce this appalling behavior. Call your representative and tell them this is not okay. It's one thing to disagree, one thing to debate, one thing to protest - but this is just disgraceful.



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Healthcare for all!!! Yay Yay Yay Yay!!!

I know there is much work to be done - hurdles, battles, etc etc... but I also have to shout it out - at some point soon I will conceivably be able to buy health insurance for my husband and myself. Coverage that is real. Not the kind with an $8000 deductible.

The insurance companies will not be able to say "No, you have too many issues. We can't cover you, people with actual illness. That might cut into our profit margin!"

We will be able to have coverage. Maybe not for a few years, I know - but the last time something this significant changed it was likely the start of Medicare. Civil rights legislation. Where would we be today if those had not been pushed through? I am hopeful, at least a tiny bit, today. Like I was a year or so ago.



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FB Email Internet Hiatus Interruptus?

I half jestingly wrote this yesterday:

"I am on the verge of a FB hiatus..."

And now I can't stop thinking about it. I know a woman, I'd like to call her a friend because she's so cool, although we did not have much close time together, who took this whole year off the internet. She has two young kids, and a husband with a job I think, and she's a writer and director and thinker - and she took a year off. To write and as she stated herself, get some PR spin.

I was just thinking that I should take a month off - then I started not knowing when. I mean, I work for myself right now. I find and do my work online, most of the time. So, I could drop all personal email and FB stuff, right?

But what is personal these days?

I write and perform, and I go see other writers and performers. And I find out about all the stuff, and share all my stuff, on FB.

And I find out about my family, too, on there.

So maybe not a month.

Maybe just a week. I think I could try that.

As an experiment. I want to see how I feel, how I think, if I'm not logging in here and there and everywhere, and chatting virtual chats with virtual friends who are thousands of miles away.

In the Artists Way series, the authors instruct the participants to take a week off of reading. I remember that - it was astonishing.

I'm going to take a week off email and FB and websites and all internet communications - maybe even a week off my computer entirely. I'm not sure when, I do actually have to look at the work calendar for that. But I'll announce, on FB most likely. 'Cause that's what I do these days, it seems.

But I will do it. I think.

I think I can.

I think I can.

I think I can.



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Today. Just today.

I just read my friend Morgan's post on her wonderful Lucky Break Queue blog, and it was a wonderful way to start the day. She captures so lovingly the joy in life, and make me think about my goal for today.

Today, I hope to enjoy my life just as it is.

The "sin" that has troubled me much of my life is envy - wishing I had something I felt I lacked. Even now. I have such an amazing son. I adore him. He is the brightest light in the entire universe. And. Sometimes I wish I was still single and childless, and could in fact go to India (or Europe, again, or just Spain, or Greece, or...)

It doesn't really matter what I have or who I am - all my life, I've wished for something slightly different. For me, the journey seems to be about loving life right now, just as it is, and that includes loving the part of me that wishes for something else.

For a few brief, early years (like the ones 4 and 5) I wanted to be a veterinarian (not sure why, I wasn't in love with animals - I think it was just a cool thing to wanna be) and then Miss America. Then, at 8, I knew I wanted to be an actress. Actor. Whatever. That desire stayed constant, until maybe 5 years ago. My whole life.

And funnily enough, it allowed me to always dance with some other part of me. Most recently, Emily Dickinson - childless, single recluse. Lovely.

I was just thinking about acting this morning, and doing Belle of Amherst. It was so easy. Not to jinx it ('cause I think we're doing it again) - but I really didn't work very hard at all. Just memorizing the lines, really. Then I just got on stage and said them. So much easier than it used to be. So much less worry and ego and push.

Interesting, that.




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Cleaning House

As I posted yesterday, I got up the courage and found the clarity to put in my request for a Lucky Break.

I just went to read that blog that I am quickly falling in love with, and found a wonderful post about moon magic.

It inspired me to think about this time, now, and what I can do to help myself, my life, my dreams.

I can clean. My house, my inner self, my habits, my whatever-it-is that has been keeping me stuck. Spring is on the way, and now is a ripe and good time to help myself grow, so I can blossom soon.

So I am. I started exercising, a tiny bit but at least something, a few days ago. I'll do so again today.

On Saturday, I'm going to see a friend who is training to be a hypnotherapist.

I have another friend who is training to be a personal coach, and she has invited me to work with her several times - and I've always been too busy, too overwhelmed.

And oddly judgmental, like somehow personal coaching was for a fancier life; I'm concerned with survival here, goddamnit!

But who am I to judge growth, in any form? Who am I to turn away from helping hands of any sort?

My personal growth, my spiritual life, used to be at the forefront of my existence. I attended to it on a daily basis.

Then I got married. Then I had a baby.

And I'm grateful for both of those beings in my life. But it's time to attend, once again, to my own inner house. Time to clean for no reason other than it will help me, help me feel better, clearer, stronger.

I am willing to do the work. I think. And immensely grateful for at least a little chink in the armor of defiance and overwhelm I've allowed to grow around me.

Small steps. Clean house.



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