Sunday, June 13, 2010

did I just meditate?

I had a very intense moment yesterday morning, standing at the bathroom counter. I was feeling so burdened and stressed and weary and frustrated and angry...

So I took a deep breath to send off a prayer - and before I could articulate my desire, the stress was gone. I was light as a happy cloud. I could feel pink, warm, comfy compassion swirling around me. It was kind of unnerving - mostly because I hadn't even "said" my prayer yet - so all the burden came back. I felt it physically settle back down onto me.

All of this, above, happened in what was probably 20 to 30 seconds, max, in "real" time - but it seemed to take much longer.

I tried again - I remembered that I'd just taken a deep breath when the freedom came - so I did that again. And it happened again. Then I tried to articulate some words in my mind, and the stress came back. So I just breathed again - freedom.

It was heavenly. It lasted for maybe 2 beautiful, happy, floating minutes. Then I had to come out of the bathroom and be with other people, and life of course came back.

But man. That 2 minutes was amazing.

Is this what you all aspire to, meditators? Someone tell me more, please.

'Cause I need a little piece .... whoa. I meant to write "peace" but the other word came out - wonder what that means? I need a piece of change? piece of heaven? a little corner of the sky?

I have a disabled husband. An amazing son who may need special ed services of some kind. I have so little money.

My shoulders are tired.

Maybe I'll get another 2 minutes of peace today.

Free Counter

1 comment:

  1. There are many form of meditation, but what you experienced is not unusual.

    Based on this post, I would recommend doing metta meditation. And not doing it for anyone other than yourself, for a long time.