pretty, new, old summer sky magic

Do you like my new design?

I do. I love sky. The top photo is one I took, from the deck of Water's Edge, a great little double-wide we rented on the bay in Sequim. If I squinted, I could see the Dungeness Lighthouse off to the left.

The background is, alas, not my photo. But I have seen such skies.

And I want to see more.

I didn't even know I had a summer wish - and suddenly, there it is. Sometimes, writing is magic. It leads me to things that were lurking under the surface of the buzzy, to-do, "is everything gonna be okay" filled mind I usually scurry around with.

This thing - this until-now undiscovered summer wish:

I want to look at the sky.

I want to lay on the ground and just -

Look.
Up.
Quietly.

I think that is the medicine I need.

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did I just meditate?

I had a very intense moment yesterday morning, standing at the bathroom counter. I was feeling so burdened and stressed and weary and frustrated and angry...

So I took a deep breath to send off a prayer - and before I could articulate my desire, the stress was gone. I was light as a happy cloud. I could feel pink, warm, comfy compassion swirling around me. It was kind of unnerving - mostly because I hadn't even "said" my prayer yet - so all the burden came back. I felt it physically settle back down onto me.

All of this, above, happened in what was probably 20 to 30 seconds, max, in "real" time - but it seemed to take much longer.

I tried again - I remembered that I'd just taken a deep breath when the freedom came - so I did that again. And it happened again. Then I tried to articulate some words in my mind, and the stress came back. So I just breathed again - freedom.

It was heavenly. It lasted for maybe 2 beautiful, happy, floating minutes. Then I had to come out of the bathroom and be with other people, and life of course came back.

But man. That 2 minutes was amazing.

Is this what you all aspire to, meditators? Someone tell me more, please.

'Cause I need a little piece .... whoa. I meant to write "peace" but the other word came out - wonder what that means? I need a piece of change? piece of heaven? a little corner of the sky?

I have a disabled husband. An amazing son who may need special ed services of some kind. I have so little money.

My shoulders are tired.

Maybe I'll get another 2 minutes of peace today.




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American stories...

I got to vocal coach at Jack Straw this morning. Students from Foster HS in Tukwila - all recent immigrants, all extraordinary poets.

Poems about their lives. About a father being killed in what used to be the green garden of Afghanistan, where the streets now run red with blood.

About being a witness to a woman being raped in Somalia and now unable to walk.

About missing the clean clear cold waters of home, and a grandmother left in Nepal.

And they are teenagers... relating these unbelievably heart-rending stories, and then getting excited to edit them on the Mac.

My life, as a middle-class white American = CAKE.

These are stories we ALL need to hear - they are our future, these young people. They have lived through things we wince at when we see them in movies.

I am humbled, grateful. Trying to pay attention.


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